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Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Another UN Solution

by Sam Huntington

I wonder why the United Nations believes it has a solution for all of the world’s problems. Honestly, I don’t think they do. I think THEY think they do, but I think they’re wrong.

Has anyone noticed how many rules the UN created for everyone else? The UN library takes up several floors in the building we’re paying for. But that isn’t enough for the UN. They don’t want us to have our own constitution, or our bill of rights. In fact, when you break it down, there isn’t too much about the UN that is “American friendly.” They don’t want Americans to have the right to possess firearms. They don’t think Americans are paying enough money to maintain the United Nations. They don’t think we’re providing enough medicine to cure the diseased citizens of fourth-world cesspits … as if it’s our fault those people aren’t smart enough to know not to drink water with poopy in it.

I read today that the United Nations wants all human beings to eat insects. Eating insects will solve the world’s problem of starving poopy drinkers. Well, I suppose there are an awful lot of insects. Even if they taste like crap, they do have a lot of protein, which makes them nutritious. Unless one eats a poisonous insect, in which case, they're in deep trouble. And yes, it is also true that occasionally, insect legs get caught in your throat, but you can usually cough them back into your mouth and spit them out, which is okay in polite company when everyone else is also eating insects.

On the other hand, I’m not likely to dine on grasshoppers and caterpillars while elitist snobs at the UN are dining at New York’s finest restaurants, drinking France’s finest champagne, and playing footsie with the world top models in the back seat of luxury limousines. I might start eating insects if the UN would show us a little leadership: you first, numb-nut, and escargot doesn't count.

Speaking of UN-leadership, if those people really cared about global warming, they’d turn off the heat in the UN building during the winter. If they really cared about the safety and security of little African children, they wouldn’t send UN Security troops in to rape and murder them. If the UN really cared about starving polar bears, they would adopt one; take it home with them. This could actually solve two problems at once. But no … the UN is utterly worthless in the leadership department. How worthless, you ask? I think they are even more worthless than the love poodle, Al Gore —or any other leftist pea brain.

I'm sure by now the reader is wondering how I really feel about the United Nations. Because the UN is mostly comprised of idiots and hypocrites, I think we need to hear from them less often. I’ve been around for a lot of years and I cannot remember even one good idea that came from that group of nitwits. People are starving, so rather than addressing human population in a meaningful way, they want us to eat bugs.

Alas, are there no UN advocates for these smallest of God's creatures?


  1. Cicadas are emerging here. A few days ago, the WaPo published an article lauding the dietary value of eating cicadas, which will be plentiful for a few weeks.

    Maybe the UN would like to send representatives here, close the local food banks, and feed the homeless on cicadas this season; if the UN wants to do so, then all the UN representatives should also dine on cicadas for the season.

  2. Ah, cicadas sautéed in rich butter sauce! Yum, yum! But wait, wouldn’t that violate UN rules about eating rich foods? Mark my words; the next thing on the UN agenda will be the destruction of the cigar industry. I loved Captain Hindsight … a former reporter.

  3. The UN names North Korea to head their arms control agency.


  4. you can be sure that if we turned to mass diets of insects, PETA would go into beast mode about it as they did when Gov Christie killed a spider...

    BTW, grasshoppers are a regular part of the diet where I serve in Oaxaca, Mexico...

    They are delicious, but admittedly, an acquired taste...

  5. Thanks to the UN, the people of my country have become even more worthless than previously, if that is even possible. There is no value to the UN other than to facilitate dialogue among nations. This is why country’s exchange ambassadors; it is the reason we have phones and computers. We do not need a UN.

  6. I remember, from Anthropology, studying a primitive society in the South Pacific that routinely dined on cockroaches. little did I realize then that we were learning about the ultimate in what is becoming an idealistic example in "GREEN" living!

    Other than a "make-work" forum for higher profile bureaucRATS; what is the purpose of the UN?

  7. Hey, Dave,

    Fifty-five or sixty years ago French-Fried Grasshoppers and Chocolate-Covered Ants were sold at our local liquor store (in a fashionable, upper-middle-class suburb of NYC) as "novelty foods" to be served to amuse the guests at cocktail parties.

    It was considered sort of a joke, but I tasted the grasshoppers, thought they were delicious,and ate a whole jarful. They reminded me of "pepitas." The ants had no flavor. The chocolate was too strong for them -- poor things.

    My mother was horrified and chided my father for having brought them into the house. He was irritated at me, because he'd wanted them to be served at their next gathering.

    Everyone should have such problems, right? ;-)

  8. Sam makes an interesting observation; irrespective of professed ideology, as opposed to how one actually behaves, the UN pursues a socialist agenda. It is one that begins and ends with the same premise: don’t do as we do, do as we say. There are two sets of rules: those for the crème de la crème, which involves not only the UN elite but also the heads of state all around the globe, and then there is a set of rules for every one else. This isn’t the UN’s fault; most people in the world like being bushed around by an autocrat.

    The sooner the UN passes into history, the better. Perhaps the genesis for this transition will be that exact moment when someone sets down in front of our slack jawed populace 12 crispy deep-fried cockroaches and the song La Cucaracha is playing in the background.

  9. I think the UN would make a WONDERFUL set of condos.


  10. I think it's time that the UN is dismantled, torn down and everyone goes their own separate ways.

    American dollars could go somewhere else that maybe useful to us and not to them.

  11. Iran is now chairing the UN conference on disarmament. The US should dismantle the United Nations.

    Right Truth

  12. I have to admit I have eaten fried ants once at a Thai restaurant..but I'd like to see the UN force me to eat any other insects.

    Still, what do we expect from a bunch who just put Iran in charge of Nuclear Disarmament Talks? Believe it or not, the US is not attending because of that. I was pretty pleased to hear that.

  13. You can be sure that our elitist friends at the U.N. wouldn't be recommending insects to everyone if the U.N. headquarters were actually in some third world dump where they HAD to eat insects. Not as a dietary supplement, but as everyday food.


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