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Sunday, April 16, 2017

Goodbye, Cameo

Cameo (July 30, 2001-April 16, 2017):

Cameo on our front porch with the azalea bush in the background.  She is gazing up at the birdhouse.

Heartbreak here. We have lost our beloved Siamese/Russian Blue to cancer.

There will never be another Cameo, our Rottweiler of a kitty. Such a spirited, domineering girl and ever relentless in her boldness! But also so very loving, on her terms, of course.

We will miss Cameo forever.

From day one, Cameo decided that the recliner was hers!

And Cameo loved to pose for the camera.

Pensive, on the back porch, June 20, 2016

Cameo on the new cat rug, March 9, 2017

Mr. AOW and I count it as a privilege to have shared space with such an intelligent and loving alpha cat with an adorable Rottweiler personality.  If only we could have had more time together!


  1. ______ A Feline Valentine _______

    A cat can offer much bound to enchant. 
    Felines, ever charming, but capricious
    Eventually –– no matter how you rant ––
    Lenient, strict, indulgent, or judicious ––

    It seems the little fuzzball will prevail.
    No worthy feline ever lets you win.
    Even so, the smartest never fail,
    ‘Tis certain, to enchant you while they sin. 

    So easily do cats cast spells beguiling
    Foolish folk enraptured by their antics
    Only laugh when cats deserve reviling 
    Letting felines prove their fans romantics.

    Letting pussy get away with mischief
    Yields ire-dissolving mirth, and thus a missed tiff.

    ~ FreeThinke - 2/12/13 

    ~ § ~

    Nothing can break up a human spat
    Faster than a charming household cat!
    Nothing ever makes us want to cry
    More than being forced to say Goodbye.

    ~ FT

    My heart goes out to you, your husband and The Merry Widow at this very sad time. Cameo was as spirited and enchanting as she was beautiful.

    As Queen Elizabeth, II was recently quoted as saying, "Grief is the price we must pay for love." Not that that makes it any easier to bear.

    1. FT,
      Our grief is intense.

      Queen Elizabeth II was right. And we're paying a high price right now.

    2. I know, AOW, believe me I know. I'm sending you all these poems not because I imagine they will take away your grief, but to show empathy for your situation, and to remind you that you are not alone –– others have had to endure the same or similar painful experiences.

      The picture of Cameo in front to the azaleas is particularly beautiful. A lovely way to remember her at her best.

    3. FT-Yes, it is hard to release our furry children. sigh...But what an empty, stolid and inward life we would have without our friends. G-D certainly knew what HE was doing, when HE placed us in a world full of critters!


    4. FT,
      I'm not quite sure exactly which year I took the photo of Cameo in front of the azalea bush. The painting I mentioned above is dated May 8, 2008.

      At my photos site, the photo appears with the date June 22, 2007. I'm guessing that I took the photo in April 2006 or April 2007.

      Cameo didn't look debilitated or disfigured at the end -- even though she had dropped some pounds. She was "Mama's Little Portly" even from a young age, so her recent weight loss didn't make her look anything less than the beauty she had always been.

    5. TMW,
      Heaven won't be heaven for me without my beloved fur babies. The Garden of Eden contained animals, so why shouldn't heaven contain animals?

    6. Yes, TMW. My father always said the mark of a person's character shows in the way they treat animals. He believed there was "something wrong" with people who didn't like and respect the creatures.

      He understood that it was just not practical for some people to keep an animal, but to disregard them, or show no sympathy for them was reprehensible. To neglect or abuse them was Mortal Sin as far as he was concerned. I completely agree. My mother felt the same way.

      I believe they help us get in closer touch with our "better angels."

    7. I thought you might like this, even though it's been around for a long time.

      ________ The Old Man and His Dog ________

      An old man and his dog were walking along a winding country road enjoying the scenery, when suddenly it occurred to the man that he must have died. He remembered dying, and realized, too, that the dog who was with him now had passed away and left him many years before the two of them met again on this strangely beautiful setting.

      Wondering where the road would lead them the old man and his friend continued walking.

      After a while, they came to a high, white wall along one side of the road that stood atop a hill. It looked to be made of the finest marble. The wall stood far from the road, and was broken only by a magnificent white arch beautifully inscribed with the letter H at its crest. The arch gleamed in the sunlight as though it must be made of mother-of-pearl, and the street leading to the gate looked as though it must have been paved in purest gold.

      The old man was happy to think that he must finally have reached Heaven, so he and his dog walked toward the gate. As they got closer, the man noticed a shadowy figure in a cowl seated at an imposing, beautifully carved desk.

      When finally he felt he’d gotten close enough to speak, the old man called out, "Excuse me, but could this be Heaven?"

      "It is, indeed, sir,” the figure answered.

      “Oh my Gosh!” the traveler exclaimed excitedly, then asked, “Would you happen to have some water?”

      "Of course, sir! Come right in, and I'll have some ice water sent right up." The hooded gatekeeper gestured to his rear, and the huge gate began to open.

      "May my friend please come in too?" the man asked, gesturing toward the dog, "he's awful thirsty too."

      But the the shadowy figure answered, "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets here."

      The man thought about it a second or two, then thanked the gatekeeper, turned back toward the road, and continued in the direction he had been going earlier.

      After a while, the pair reached the top of another long hill, and came to a dirt road which led to a rustic farm gate. There was no fence, and it looked as if the gate had never been closed, since grass had grown up tall all around it. Approaching the gate, the old man saw a middle-aged man in overalls just inside sitting in the shade of a tree reading a book.

      "Excuse me!" he called to the reader. “We are very thirsty. Could you by any chance give us a drink of water?"

      “Oh sure. there's a well right over there," the man said, pointing to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in and make yourself at home."

      "How about my friend here?" the traveler said gesturing toward the dog.

      “Oh course, he's welcome too, and there's a bowl for him and a cup for you right by the well.”

      They walked through the gate and, sure enough, there was an old-fashioned well with a nice clean cup right on the rim, and a good-sized bowl next to it on the ground. The man filled the bowl for his dog first, and then took a good long drink, himself. When both were satisfied, the pair walked back toward the reader, still sitting under the tree waiting for them, and asked, "What do you call this place?”

      “Why this is Heaven," was the answer.

      “My, that's confusing," said the traveler. “Did you know there's another fellow down the road who said that his much fancier place was Heaven?”

      "Do you mean that place with the golden street and the pearly gates?"

      "Yes, it looked beautiful."

      "Nope. That's Hell."

      "Doesn't it bother you for them to use the name of Heaven the way they do?"

      "Nope. I can see how you might think so, but frankly it saves us a lot of time. They screen out all the people willing to leave their best friends behind. We wouldn’t want them here.”

      ~ Anonymous (gently emended by FT)

  2. _ To A Superior Parrot - January 24, 2010 _

    Rest softly in your plumage, golden friend.

    I found you warm, yet lifeless, though your eyes

    Pierced my heart as though you wished to send

    Longings still my way. A rude surprise

    It was to find that you so quickly passed ––

    Taken leave –– without the faintest sound.

    The twenty years we had went by so fast.

    Love grew slowly ‘tween us, but once found

    Evolved into a rather poignant thing.

    Despite your squawks, and shrill, ill-timed demands,

    Even your envy of the cats was touching.

    Vain, inane, your comical commands

    Inspired chuckles, while your innocence

    Leaves a scar upon my conscience.

    ~ FreeThinke - January 26, 2010

    Little Devil was a half-sized parrot left to me by happenstance. I didn't think I really wanted him, but after a while I grew to love him dearly. In some way I'll never fully understand we communicated. He trusted me, as the bond between us grew, gazing into his eyes was extrardinarily touching. He knew loved him and had empathy for him. We really were friends. Finding him dead at the bottom of his cage was a terrible shock. It was so unexpected. That was seven years ago, but I still look at the spot where his cage stood in the sunny bay window, and half expect to see him there, and hear him shriek at me for attention, while I try to prepare breakfast.

    I suppose love always carries with it a measure of grief and pain, but only a fool would want to get through life without it. We always wish we could have had more time with any loved one, and find ourselves thinking we should have done more, but we have no chiice but to take life as it comes, and remember to be grateful for all the joy we have experienced.

  3. Always on Watch,

    I just got off the phone with you but want to express again my love for you during this difficult time. Having had the privilege to meet Cameo several times, your descriptions are accurate.

    Very sorry for the loss of your beloved companion.

    1. TLEP,
      All our kitties are special.

      But Cameo? Well, she was extra special. Personality and intelligence plus!

      Her portrait, painted by one of my students in 2008 and given to me as an end-of-the-year teacher present, will hang in our living room as long as we have breath.

  4. ________ I'll See You Again ________

    All my life I shall remember knowing you,
    All the pleasure I have found in showing you,
    The different ways that one may phrase
    The changing light, and changing shades,
    Happiness that must die, melodies that must fly,
    Memories that must fade, dusty and forgotten bye and bye.
    When I’m recalling the hours we’ve had
    Why do the foolish tears tremble across the years?
    Why do I feel so sad treasuring the memory of these days always?

     I'll see you again whenever spring breaks through again.
    Time may lie heavy between,
    But what has been, is past forgetting.
    This sweet memory across the years will come to me.
    Though my world may go awry,
    In my heart will ever lie,
    Just the echo of a sigh.

    ~ Noel Coward - “Bitter Sweet” (1929)

    1. FT,
      That is a beautiful!

      I'll see you again whenever spring breaks through again.

      Cameo's azalea bush -- I'll always think of it as hers -- will be in full bloom tomorrow. Yesterday, late in the afternoon, Cameo was sitting in the window overlooking the azalea and sniffing the air wafting in on a day filled with zephyrs. She considered the azalea as hers! And so it shall always be.

      BTW, our beloved Sheba (1988-2008), Mr. AOW's cat, is buried beneath the shade of the azalea.

    2. Noel Coward was noted for beng "a talent to amuse," but underneath his exaggeratedly genteel, quasi-aristocratic manner, and glib display of brittle wit lay a great heart.

      It showed mostly in the elegant-but-wistful tender-hearted songs he composed –– Someday I'll Find you from Private Lives, –– I'll See You Again from Bitter Sweet, and Zigeuner - also from Bitter Sweet are just such songs.

      Here is an exquisite recording of Someday I'll Find You with Ian Bostridge and Sophie Daneman.


      It's deeply touching. even though most of Coward's plays were categorized as Light Entertainment.

      Today most people think of "sex" whenever the word "romance" is mentioned. It's considered unseemly to display our feelings –– or even to allow ourselves to HAVE feelings anymore. Too bad!

      What may have begun with sexual attraction more often than not –– if it lasts –– becomes loyalty, devotion, an ever-deepening bond of sympathy and selfless support. And this kind of attachment may not have anything to do with "sex" at all. Brotherly love, lasting fondness for family members, and the love we may have for a cherished animal friend all may qualify equally.

      It's much too bad the popular culture seems to have dine its best to thrash out our finer, nobler feelings while replacing them with coarseness, callousness, extreme selfishness, grotesque vulgarity, and unbridled lust –– where peope treat each other merely as OBJECTS to be cast aside once they are no longer useful.

      So, even though love often. involves a great deal of pain, it is still The Pearl of Great Price So, be glad you have the capacity to feel grief. It's proof of your humanity and essential good character.

  5. So sorry, AOW. I know how much you valued Cameo's companionship.

    1. Duck,
      Cameo was my "heart cat" -- and, when I was so sick last year, she served as Nurse Cameo.

      I'm not sure that I shall see her like again.

  6. Great story! I used to work at a paper mill in the Los Angeles
    area. They shut down one of the machines, leading to the last
    three hires to face a choice; Accept a job in production on
    rotating shifts, or face layoff. I was the only one to decline
    a production job.

    Paper mill electricians are absolutely queer for cats! There was
    a family of Ferals the electricians had eating out of their
    hands. One night, my buddy Jim (Picture a long haired, bearded,
    tattooed biker) came into the electrical shop for a break. Jim
    sat down on a work stool. Butt-Head, the Partiarch of the feral
    family jumped up on the long work bench and sat there staring
    at him.

    After a while Jim asked the electrician, "Whats up with that
    cat?" Steve (The electrician) replied "You are in his chair."
    Steve adopted several feral cats. I have one myself, a near
    perfect Tuxedo patterned Tomcat named Slow Poke Rodriguez II.

    Domesticated or feral, to own a cat is to realize you own
    nothing! All that is in their realm belongs to them. It
    is that simple.

    1. Leonard,
      Steve (The electrician) replied "You are in his chair."

      Cameo owned the lift-chair recliner and stared down anyone who took her chair. It is so sad not to see her there now.

  7. __________ MIAOW __________

    (Excellent, Mysterious, Subtle)

    I put down my book,

    The Meaning of Zen,
and see the cat smiling

    into her fur
as she delicately combs it
with her rough pink tongue.

    "Cat, I would lend you this
    book to study
but it appears that you have

    already read it."

    She looks up and gives me
her full gaze.

    "Don't be ridiculous," she purrs.
    I wrote it."

    ~ Dilys Laing (1906-1960)

  8. Sorry, man. It's tough to lose a good cat.

  9. They are never with us long enough. I still miss our 'prince' - gone over 10 years, even as my adorable little Gabi is purring on my back. My prayers for you and Mr. AOW.

  10. Scherie and I offer our condolences on the loss of a family member.

  11. That is one beautiful cat. I'm very sorry for your loss.

    - CI

  12. The worst Easter Sunday of my life! Watching Cameo suffer, despite the medications which were supposed to bring her relief, was hell.

    Our veterinarian is a saint -- and I don't use that word lightly. We are so grateful that he could come over to put an end to Cameo's suffering, which had greatly increased since Friday, when he prescribed medications to improve her quality of life. The medications didn't work -- the cancer was too far advanced.

    Dr. V has suffered a great deal himself: the failure of both his kidneys at the age of 36. For 20 years, his transplanted kidney has served him well, but he does have severe edema of the ankles. And yet, he continues to practice veterinary medicine. He has such a great love for our four-footed friends and family members.

    Getting up this morning without Cameo to greet me for the first time in nearly 16 years is such misery. Despite her terrible suffering for the past few days-- her lower right jawbone was nearly gone due to cancer erosion -- she had continued to greet me. Unbearable sadness here in this household!

    Amber continues to search for Cameo. Pitiful.

  13. I am so sorry for your loss. They are not just pets, they are part of the family.

    1. SF,
      Yes, they are part of the family. Especially when there is a special bond such as the one we had with "our little tank" Cameo.

      I don't know how I'm going to do this....

  14. Cameo and I shared a special bond. Only once before have I shared such a bond with a cat -- our Honey Bunny (1978-1997).

    Once the vet gave Cameo the first pain-relieving injection last night, she was again able to show me her love with head butting, kisses, and the like. And the purring! She was again her old self! For a full 20 minutes, probably more.

    The vet had to give her two more injections. "Such a strong will to live!" he remarked.

    I stayed with her for every moment of the 45 minutes, then left the room and turned her over to the vet so that he could examine her mouth to try to learn more about the lesion which had appeared in mid-March and about the bone lump which had suddenly appeared along her lower right jawbone yesterday morning. My discovery of that lump was the point at which we definitively knew that she had cancer instead of a viral infection.

    That lower right jawbone was almost completely eroded and could have broken the next time I gave her a pill about 12 hours later. I can't bear to imagine how she would have felt and how I would have felt if such a horrific thing had happened!

    So, our decision last night was the right decision. For Cameo.

    As the vet said, "This is the last thing that you can do for her. We can do things to her, but not for her."

  15. So so sorry AOW... I lost one of mine two weeks ago,and there is no description of the pain one endures. I know mine had a wonderful life, and I take solace in that.

    1. Bunkerville,
      What kind of beloved fur baby?

      The only two consolations I have:

      (1) Cameo had a wonderful life here. Never a moment of insecurity! I chose her early one from my cousin's cat's litter of greylings.

      (2) She had no more pain from the moment the vet injected the barbiturates. And we had loving wonderful moments when she was herself again. She hadn't been herself for the past two days.

      As you know, cats are stoic. So often their illnesses are not diagnosed until it is too late! **heavy heart here**

    2. In the parlance of Vet speak, "A Domestic Short Hair." but she was much more than that. A beautiful gray..who went by the name of Louise, who loved the sun and always was right behind me,,,

    3. Bunkerville,
      Cameo, too, was listed as DSH. Like your kitty Louise, Cameo was much more.

      There is something different and special about greylings. Many have commented on their intelligence and capacity for great love of their selected person.

      I have the advantage of knowing exactly what Cameo's breed was because she came from my cousin's kitty's litter.

  16. Replies
    1. That's a very lovely piece, AOW. I shall bookmark it, and keep it for future reference.

  17. I'm sorry for your loss. I know, very well, what is like. Try to just remember the good long life she had as I do my late Samoyed, Tanya.

  18. ________ My Priscilla ________

    A little gray one looked up from the floor,
    Locked in my gaze with piercing topaz eyes.
    I felt odd fear, but soon came to adore
    The fluffy little beast, who’d mesmerize
    The faintest trace of doubt away. Her cries
    Left me helpless, as she deftly climbed
    Eagerly upon my knee. My sighs
    Gave in to her seduction so well-timed
    Removing doubt that I had been well-primed ––
    A target from the moment I arrived ––
    Yearning that my inner bell be chimed.
    O, little beast, affection for you thrived.
    No pleasure, since disease took you away,
    Eased the pain of loss renewed each day.

    ~ FreeThinke (1/12/15)

    Priscilla was only ten years, and seven months old when cancer struck her, and she had to be put to sleep. I used to worry that she would outlive me, and have to suffer being an orphan, but her little life was cut short, instead. I still miss her, and think of her every day, but could never say I am not glad she was part of my life. She always will be till the day I dei.

    Even if Priscilla had lived to be twenty, as my Schmagoggy did, or nineteen as our old Samson, our time together would still have seemed too short. As my Cousin Eddie said, when his wife Dina died in his arms of a sudden heart attack at age 74, "Death is the lousiest thing about Life."

    Not a man given to fancy words, and extravagant displays of emotion, but a great guy nonetheless. He was sincere, trustworthy, and always very kind, if a bit more blunt than some might have liked.

    Eddie had been wounded by a burst of shrapnel during World War Two, and as a result had one leg that refused to bend at the knee. The surgeons were never able to get all the shrapnel out of his poor stiff leg, but he never complained about it, even thought we knew he was in constant pain.

    He did well in business, enjoyed life a great deal, and lived to be eighty-two. He left an estate worth just under a million dollars. He too suffered a sudden heart attack and died before the ambulance could get him to the hospital.

    Life is rarely easy for anyone, but I believe it is always worth living –– even under the most trying circumstances.

  19. Damn AOW. We never have enough time and Some are very special. (We've been there too many times also) SO sorry.

    As indicated by some others, we take comfort in knowing we provided such a good living environment for them while they were here. I'm sure you did too. I'm still pining over one or five lost over a decade ago...

    1. Kid,
      Thank you. I know that you fully understand.

      Mr. AOW and I have been pining ever since Cameo drew her final breath. We're so miserable that we can barely function!

      We pampered Cameo -- perhaps more than we should have. But her regal bearing and unique personality beckoned us to do so. She deserved the pampering. And she got it. Every day of her life.

      We just wish that we could have had more time together. And we also wish that she wouldn't have suffered at all. But neither of those was to be.

  20. Yes, Understood. I pray for your peace and comfort and know that it won't come easily.

    1. And not anytime soon!

      Our diffuse tortie Mysti will be 18 in June. She's frail, but seems to be enjoying life as much as such a senior kitty can.

      Our ebony tortie Amber just turned 5.

      Mysti and Amber don't get along well. Cameo was the stabilizer.

      With Cameo gone, we have only two cats. Only two! It's been decades since we've had only two in our cat family. Typically, we have three.

    2. We recently had a stray move in - Stanley. he will only let me touch him if he has his head buried in a food bowl. :) OTOH, the other stray KitKat, loves for me to pet her but she wants no part of inside living. Even in the dead of winter.

      Two Torties left eh? I don't think we've ever had two torties in the same house. I'd expect that to be interesting.

    3. Kid,
      Do you have kitties other than Stanley and KitKat?

      Two Torties left eh?...I'd expect that to be interesting.

      As you know, torties are especially territorial.

      Mysti owns the master bedroom, Amber the rest of the house.

      We've already seen an early battle for claiming the alpha position, which Cameo had previously held from her first day here. Amber wants to claim Mysti's bedroom! Exceptionally obedient for a cat, Amber ceased and desisted when I said, "Ah, ah, ah! Not yours!"

    4. We have Stanley who has moved in living the good life, KitKat on the back deck, and then we have our domesticated dudes - Handsome Howard, Little Bear and Lodi who do not go out without a jail break because it is a dangerous environment for cats who are not street smart.

    5. PS - Cameo is a real beauty..

  21. I am so very sorry, my friend. I pry you find solace in the memories and abundant love you shared.



    1. Thank you, Andie.

      I'm so glad that we have the photo of Cameo on our front porch (first photo in the body of this blog post). I had recently gotten a digital camera and managed to get that lucky shot.

  22. A. Wellwisher said

    Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your friend, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

    ~ Author unknown

    1. FT,
      I love "The Rainbow Bridge"! May it be so! Cameo would indeed come flying to meet me. We shared such a special bond.

  23. Sorry for your loss, AOW. It's always sad when a loved pet dies but it's expected since we normally outlive our pets. It would be even worse if we didn't.

    1. Waylon,
      Yes, it is only right for us to outlive our pets. But outliving them is so painful for us humans!

  24. It was my privilege to Photoshop Cameo from time to time, and I grew to love her too, though we never met. I loved your story about Cameo and the Christmas Tree, how she loved to play with the ornaments on the tree, and how you used a water spritzer to dissuade her. May God bless Cameo and keep her safe until the day you can be reunited.

    1. Stogie,
      Thank you, my friend. I have those PhotoShops saved in multiple places and will always treasure them.

      I took tons of photos of Cameo. She was not camera shy. In fact, she wasn't shy about anything! A true alpha cat!

      After what we went through with a previous cat's suffering (Honey Bunny, 1978-1997), I have promised every subsequent kitty, "I will not let you suffer." We euthanized Cameo before her suffering became too awful. By mere hours, according to our wonderful vet.

      I will be ever grateful to Dr. V. for coming to our home on Easter Sunday evening to prevent the terrible suffering that was right around the corner. It is possible that I would have shattered her lower righ jawbone the next time that I have her a pill. That would have been awful!

      It took three injections of barbiturate to euthanize Cameo. She had such a strong will! Her will was one of her most enduring traits, and her strong will was apparent when she played with the ornaments on the Christmas tree. I'll never forget how she removed the ornaments from the lower branches, then gathered some of her own toys and tried to affix them to the lower branches!

  25. My condolences, I know what you're going through. We had to put down our 14 year old Australian Shepherd today due to advanced degenerative myelopathy. Our two Siamese (a chocolate and a flame point) are distraught looking for him.

    1. Finntann,
      Amber continues to search for, but not constantly.

      We are grateful that Amber still has her usual appetite.

      Flame point Siamese kitties are beautiful. We had one for a long time: Honey Bunny (1978-1997). She and Cameo shared many character traits -- including bonding strongly with us and incredible intelligence.

      Sorry to read about you Australian Shepherd. Mr. AOW's Digger didn't live as long (1955-1969). Digger had a heart attack from the joy of seeing Mr. AOW returning home from boarding school.

    2. Hi, Finntann...so sorry about your Shepherd! SO SO SAD. The fellow across the street trains/shows Australian Shepherds...Glenn Morton. He's pretty well known in that field. I'm so sorry for your loss

  26. I just have my one cat. He's coming up on 5 years old. Black fluffy monster, half Maine coon. Most loving critter in the universe.

  27. AOW...Heart broken for your loss. You mentioned above that Cameo was your heart car...my Marcello was my 'soul mate cat'...he lived till about 19 but I'll never get over missing him....these 16 yrs later. He 'got' me...and I, him. It was perfectly weird.
    I adore my new "Blues" but she makes me see every day that Marcello was "rocket scientist smart,"...let's just say she is NOT :-)
    So I even more understand your pain....those cats come around infrequently.... you were so lucky and blessed to have Cameo....and I am SO SORRY.

    1. Z,
      Thank you for understanding. Cameo was indeed my 'soul mate cat'!

      I knew that the terrible day of losing Cameo would hit me hard. But I didn't expect it to hit me this hard.

      For me, grief seems to get worse as I get older.

      The wind has gone out of my sails.

  28. Easter is so often a time of such sadness. The only joy we find is the promise of the Resurrection.

    I know your pain all too well!

  29. I'm sorry for your loss. I know how special Cameo was to you. Z mentioned her 'soul mate cat', well I know the feeling too. I lost my beloved Kinky in November. I miss her everyday and always will, but I tell myself that I'll see her again one day. That thought helps me deal with my grief. I hope it helps you too.

    1. Cube,
      I know that you understand. It's horrible! But never having them is horrible, too.

    2. I know it's horrible, but it's all we have.

  30. Your grief is understandable. We always grieve after the loss of a pet. IMHO, the best thing you can do now to help you get over your loss is to get yourself a kitten. That will help you a lot.

    1. Mark,
      Thank you for your concern.

      I've lost pets before, of course, but this time my grief is so intense. My underlying health problems are, no doubt, a factor. This pain syndrome makes the grief worse, and grief makes this pain syndrome worse. Being at this stage of life -- Hardly the Golden Years! -- is also a factor. None of these factors are something that I can change.

      Not having Cameo's morning greeting -- as I did for nearly 16 years -- is painful beyond description. Even though I now that our decision to euthanize her was the right decision. As the vet pointed out, we could do lots of things to her but nothing for her.

      We have two cats remaining: Amber (age 5) and Mysti (almost age 18). Mysti is quite feeble but still enjoying life. Still, we know that at any moment Mysti may crash and have to be euthanized.

      When Mysti leaves us, we might get a kitten -- if my health permits. Mr. AOW, of course, cannot take care of a kitten.

      Amber has never been an only cat, so I'm not sure how she would react to that status or to the arrival of a new feline in the house.


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