Just Say Hugs

by Sam Huntington

Where do thugs come from? They begin from tawdry, lustful relationships in which one or both parents turn away from their responsibilities as parents. This comes as no surprise, at least not to me, when there wasn’t very much responsibility displayed in the consummation of that sordid liaison to begin with. Or they spring forth from the loins of individuals who are having babies when they are still babies themselves. It is common to find that such parents, usually single mothers, begin to resent the children for their own cheap behavior. There afterwards begins detachment away from the children, who have become a pain in the ass, which only makes the children themselves feel less valued. The cycle repeats.



And what is the solution on the left for this unhappy relationship. Well, for starters, we must give hugs to thugs, to make them feel that even though we deplore their thuggish behavior, we really do love them. I’m finding it hard to understand how any responsible citizen, or any conscientious community can overlook such things as assaults upon the elderly, rape, robbery, and murder —all because an idiot mother gave birth to a cretin and dropped it on its head during the birthing process. I actually favor a more straightforward approach: shoot a thug.

Not everyone agrees, of course —which is why we have a thug problem to begin with. I call these people “thug-enablers.” They realize, living in the upper class neighborhoods, driving their Mercedes-Benz coupe or the upscale BMW, that thuggery is someone else's problem. The only time they even hear about thuggery, is from what they read in the newspaper or see on the 6:00 o’clock news. I’m talking about such idiots as Dr. Katherine Covell, who beyond ripping off the taxpayer as a college professor is also an advisor to the UN Thug Enablement Program for North America.

Covell isn’t the only idiot, of course: she’s only helping to lead the charge. Chicago Police also proclaim “Hug-a-Thug” successful. A recent news article reported, “Charles Perry of the West Side Health Authority, who turned his life around after serving 20 years in prison for drug and weapons convictions, now works with police"… Well no kidding. After 20 years in prison, Mr. Perry should have turned his life around. As far as the police are concerned, I presume they know what they are talking about because they are, after all, among the worst thugs in police uniform on the entire planet. This notion of hugging thugs is about as inane as Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No” campaign —which hasn’t worked, apparently.

The fact is that community and family dysfunction is nothing new. Criminal behavior is not new. What is new, in terms of history (pick any country) is the growth of populations and the attendant statistical increase in incidents of crime. Communities used to hang thugs, but then someone suggested that hanging reprobates isn’t very humane. Then, someone came up with the idea of rounding thugs up, placing them aboard ship, and sending them away to new, uncharted continents. That too, was branded as inhumane. So governments began building prisons, but prisons are too harsh for thugs with damaged egos. Here’s an idea: let’s give criminals a hug, instead.

It is enough to make you wonder what happened to common sense.

The new conventional wisdom suggests that if anyone wants to have law-abiding communities, then people living within those communities must respect the behaviors of juvenile delinquents who think that knockout is a great pastime, especially when directed toward elderly white people. After all, it isn’t their fault that they have idiots for parents —and this is absolutely true. It is also not my fault; I didn’t raise any criminals.

I can’t speak for the people of Baltimore, or Metropolitan Chicago, or east side LA … I can only speak for myself. If any of these unloved children break into my home in the middle of the night, if they attempt to carjack my vehicle, or rob me on the street, I will shoot them; not just shoot them, I will empty my entire clip of ammo into their hug-starved bodies —and I won’t feel the least bit regret in doing so. Why? Because in reducing the criminal population by one or two, I will be in the running for the much coveted citizen of the year award —in responsible communities.